62. Being The “Nice Guy” Isn’t Working; From People-Pleasing to Grounded Clarity | Addison Shock
So many partnerships are the mother and the little boy dynamic, and I was in that. That was like a huge reason of the collapse of a nine-year relationship. Part of what contributes to this issue is that question that we just asked, 'What do I do as a woman to help the man in my life?' And I just want to say that is 100% not the responsibility of the woman. They're responsible for their own emotional landscape. And two, that does further perpetuate in some way, how women seek in a crafty way to get the man in their life to be in his masculine energy. Women are shrewd, crafty and smart, it's a gift! But also as crafty as you think you are, the man is definitely sniffing that out. And what that most often is going to do is cause him to shut down because he doesn't want to be mothered. When he feels that, he responds like an ashamed little boy and shuts down. Women have told me they don't feel like the man in their life listens, or wants to please them, and I'd say it's the exact opposite. They deeply desire to please and deeply want to show up for and care for, but so often that opportunity gets taken from them because there's like an overly masculine energy. The men feel, 'No matter what I do, it's wrong, so I'm not even going to try anymore.